Every few years, I reread Bird by Bird, the wise, funny book by Anne Lamott that’s aptly subtitled Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Anne Lamott validates all of the ways that I feel crazy as a writer: the insecurity, the compulsion to compare myself to other writers who are more successful and younger, the compulsions in general. (I do this truly OCD thing of wanting my right margins to look pretty, but I can’t do it by right-justifying; I’ll actually change words to make the edge flow).

In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott writes about this kind of weirdness with such compassion that – at least during the time you’re reading the book – you love in yourself precisely those qualities that you usually want to stuff into a trash bag and take to a landfill in another country. You get it that what you regard as your stinkiest muck is your creative source. The feeling doesn’t last. Which is why I need to go back and reread.

I did this last month on a plane going to New York, where I was going to make a two-minute presentation at the Jewish Book Council conference. I was one of 250-300 authors engaging in this literary speed-dating, all of us praying that representatives of Jewish book festivals around the country would find us so delightful they’d invite us to come speak (and sell books!). This caused some anticipatory anxiety. I figured I could handle the basics – demonstrate that I could dress myself and refrain from drooling when standing at a lectern – but beyond that, there was a certain pressure to be … scintillating! charming! not to mention brilliant, preferably in a profound, rabbinic way. So I reread Bird By Bird on the plane. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

“What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here – and, by extension, what we’re supposed to be writing.”

“My writer friends … do not go around beaming with quiet feelings of contentment. Most of them go around with haunted, abused, surprised looks on their faces, like lab dogs on whom very personal deodorant sprays have been tested.”

And my all-time favorite:
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”

I survived the literary speed-dating. I did not drool. I even sort-of enjoyed myself. Thank you, Anne Lamott, for helping me stay sane! I recommend Bird By Bird if you are a writer. I recommend it if you are a human.